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On Wanting to Have It All A woman can have it all in the traditional sense, says Dufu, who herself has a marriage, job, two kids, and a healthy lifestyle. But, she says, she sacrifices other things  like attending events to do so. The question shouldn’t be,  Can you have it all? but rather,  Can you have what’s important to you? she says.  The answer is yes if you can prioritize and not try to live by someone else expectations. Because every woman has a list of things she feels like she supposed to be doing, and some people manage it by creating more time in the day for themselves or by shortening that list to certain core things. On Surrounding Yourself  With Other Women You may not have said,  You go, girl,  since the eighth grade, but Dufu makes a strong case for bringing back the phrase. We are susceptible to what our peers say, and what they tell us can be the difference between applying for a job or not,¡± she says. Sometimes you need a woman saying,Girl, you need to go for that,because encouragement and a community of trust is really important. We think we have to do things by ourselves, but the truth is your advancement is a team sport, and you have to have people supporting you.